.....and then the neighborhood burned down.

Well, I thought getting hit by a truck, getting cancer, and my dog getting cancer was about as hard a year as I could have. Nope. We had to be in the middle of the biggest Colorado disaster in history. That just sucks.

What I've learned.

I have choices. We have choices. My life moves forward and I can learn from the bad, just as I would learn from the good, and there has been a lot of bad. But, bad forces us to learn and move forward.

When I got hit I thought everything was OK. It wasn't. I thought I could control how I was. I couldn't.
When I got cancer, I thought I could control how it progressed, or didn't progress. I couldn't. When I started to have the many surgeries, I kept trying to control what I could and could not do. I couldn't. When I lost the thing that was so very important through all of the past year, my surroundings, my "woods", my escape from everything, well, I lost that too. But did I?

I know I have to see my life in a different way, once again. I can and I will. It won't be easy and I have to find new ways to see things. To see my surroundings.

I have my legs, there are some that don't. So far, I'm beating cancer. Many don't. I have my house, many others do not.

Home is where your integrity, heart, and community is.

I know it will never be the same, but once "we/you/I" go through the rabbit hole, 'your' life is never the same. You cannot go back, but you do have the choice to move forward. Choice is something to never take lightly or for granted.

Having self is having choice.

Life is what we bring with us moving forward. At first it is little tiny steps, then bigger ones, and then, moving forward is something that will come naturally (again).

Crying and having emotion is how your brain will process the loss. Loss is a big part of life. Life is feeling and experiencing. What we say/feel is good or bad, is, just either ends of the spectrum.

Remember, the "rabbit hole" does have an end. There is another side. Move forward and you'll reach it.

I intend to reach it. One day this year will be behind me. I will be able to look at the things I learned. I will see the world, my world in a different way.

Grass will replace the trees. Dirt will replace the ash. Change happens and life does go on. I chose life, which means I chose to accept change.